Babies Don't Keep

Peggy is very wise, and with a baby present for Parley, she gave me this poem:

Cleaning and scrubbing
Will wait for tomorrow
For babies grow up
We have learned to our sorrow 
So hushabye cobwebs 
Dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby
And babies don't keep. 

As evidence that this is true, we went to the doctor and found out Parley's weight yesterday. He's 8.6 lbs!! When he was born, he was only 6lbs. Almost half his weight is added to him again!! And you can really tell. He's gotten so long and chubby and outgrew some of his outfits. He's not keeping one bit. 

I've been wrestling with the topic of this poem recently. Our life plan is for Nikki to work/ go to school full time and for me to take care of our kids and the basics of our house (cooking, laundry, cleaning, dishes, etc.) It's classic division of labor and a great plan, but I have not been up for it one bit. Nikki has been a superhero and done more than half the housework, lots of taking care of Parley, plus work and school. We're really lucky to be in such a flexible position in our lives that he can do that and that he's so wonderful and willing to do it because I need him to do it so bad. I am not up for doing nearly all of it by myself. 

For the first month or so, I was fine with this. I just had a baby, and we were figuring out breastfeeding and everything. I would pretty much sit in my chair all day, and Nikki would bring me things I asked for. Parley and I were spoiled rotten. But now, it's almost been two months! I feel like I should be doing more. 

I've been thinking about this for a while and have talked to quite a few people I love about it. They all reiterate the message of the poem-- it's alright to not do housework because taking care of your baby is so important. I agree with them, and I love the message of the poem. But it is not good for my mental health to sit in my chair all day. Or to watch Nikki do everything. Doing things feels so good! And I am such a task girl. I love making lists and then doing the things. I cannot really be comfortable with dirty dishes on the counter or a pile of laundry by our bed, even if Nikki promises to get to them later. It's so hard for me. Especially when Nikki is tired or not feeling well or busy with lots of other things. 

So, in order to really be able to enjoy the time with my baby, I've been trying to increase my housework capacity. There's quite a few things I can do with one hand while holding Parley, and he loves all the moving around. But mostly, Nikki just loves Parley so much and loves to hold him. I've been trying to take every opportunity when either I lay Parley in his crib or,  more often, when his dad holds him, to take care of the house. In the last few days, I've done much more cooking and cleaning, though still definitely not all of it, and it's felt so good. I've been able to enjoy my snuggle times with Parley much more because the tasks are done. 

Speaking of, I'm writing this at 3:30 am while I'm feeding Parley. He is in the tenderest mood! He's so sleepy and gentle. He spit up on his clothes, so I had to change his whole outfit. He was so patient about it and just looked around with his eyes wide open. Now he's dead asleep on my chest after just finishing eating. It's crazy how much he's grown. I love this time so, so much, and it's going to be sad when he outgrows it. I want to enjoy it with all my heart. And hopefully, no matter how big he gets, he'll still love hugging his mom like he does now.